About my Dream Icons
Ever since my early childhood, I had very vivid, colorful dreams. I always remembered them months, even years later. Although the adults around me did their best to persuade me that these are nonsense and that I should rather focus on practical everyday matters, within myself I was sure that even if I don’t understand their language, they must mean something. I also knew that they mean much more and bear much more relevance than what I have been told.
I felt a strong urge to draw them. When at the age of 3 I got my first watercolor set, I painted a dream character from the night before. It was a small fox on a huge, blue field. I later painted many more dreams.
When I grew older I wrote some of them down in words. I kept on doing so even as an adult. Thus I obtained a precious collection of dream material, although I have only the diaries of the last 15 years. It was simply a must for me to record them regularly. I had to do so even when I was much more concerned about respecting the rules of the outside world than those of my own. But even during those years some dreams exercised such a strong, strange impact on me that I was simply forced to put them on paper.
Initially I tried to understand them by sheer intellectual methods. Then I realised that I will not get any further this way, as our dreams use the same irrational, picturesque, symbolic language as fairy tales, myths, legends, Alchemy, Tarot cards or the more abstract semiotic system of Astrology. So I again started drawing and painting them as in my childhood.
I do my best to promptly “copy” the recurring motifs of my dreams as well as those, which I simply feel as being significant (geometrical figures, landscapes, plants, animals, humans, situations, etc) using the same colours as in my dreams.
While I paint, many thoughts, conclusions, realisations emerge enabling my rational mind even to understand the meaning of the pictures. They are normally both about practical and abstract matters. Quite often I even get precise answers to how I should continue my way, what I should read, how I should approach a certain situation or a person.
The illustrations on my homepage are snapshots taken during my dream journeys. While some of my Tarot paintings were inspired by the Rider-Waite deck, it was not my intention to innovate, modify or imitate in any way its complex system of symbols. The fact is that the picturesque language of my dreams found the style of the Rider cards so familiar that it started telling stories about myself, which were also related to the topics of the Arcanes, using a similar scheme to that of the deck.